


Starry Eyed

by Trickster_Angel



Series: Louder than Sirens, Louder than Bells [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Character Development, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Season 1 Episodes 8 and 9, Separations, accidentally made Yuuri ace whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-02 21:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10228109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: Yuuri and Viktor have just started to get used to their soulmate bond. But when tragedy strikes during the Rostelecom Cup, Yuuri and Viktor are separated for the first time as Viktor goes back to Japan and Yuuri stays in Russia to compete.Yuuri can't stand the silence.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [azriona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/azriona/gifts).



> This fic is a sequel to Strange Love. Please read that before reading Starry Eyed otherwise this story may not make much sense. Although Drumming Song is in this series, you do not need to read that to understand the story told in Strange Love and Starry Eyed.

_Next thing, we're touching._

_You look at me; it's like you hit me with lightning._

_Starry Eyed, Ellie Goulding_

 

* * *

Yuuri woke up to the drone of his alarm clock. It was eight in the morning, far too early for rational thought. How Viktor did this everyday, voluntarily, was still a mystery to him.

Yuuri groaned and tried to place Viktor in the inn. The drumbeat in his head was constant, steady, and loud. Viktor was close by. And coming closer. The song grew louder and louder.

“Good morning, Yuuri,” Viktor said happily, throwing open the door to his room. Yuuri groaned again and made no other reply.

“It's beautiful out today,” Viktor continued, undeterred by Yuuri's lack of enthusiasm, “Perfect for a morning run. Get dressed. We're leaving soon.”

Viktor put a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder, the song turning beautiful and fast. Viktor hummed in contentment and gently tried to shake him awake. “Come on, love. Get up for me?”

“You touching me makes me never want to move,” Yuuri replied groggily.

“I can fix that,” Viktor said, immediately removing his hand. The beauty of the song faded away. Yuuri whined in protest but he heard Viktor step away from his bed.

“I'll give you a kiss if you're ready in fifteen minutes,” Viktor said and left the room. The song grew quieter as Yuuri listened to his footsteps move down the hallway.

Viktor was so unfair, to use their soulmate bond to get Yuuri out of bed. It worked, as Yuuri dragged himself from the comfort of the blankets and stripped out of his pajamas.

It had been six months since he and Viktor found out they were soulmates.  Getting used to the song running through his head had been difficult. At first, Yuuri got frequent headaches and had problems sleeping. It had been so loud, not only because it was new and Yuuri had to adjust but also because Viktor lived in the inn with him. The song grew louder the closer one was to their soulmate. It made the adjustment difficult for both of them.

Now Yuuri found the song's presence a comfort.  He still had occasional headaches and concentrating could be hard sometimes but he was learning to live with it. It tied him to Viktor and for that reason alone, he loved it. He could even hear his soulmate’s emotions through the song. He'd only had it for six months but, despite the drawbacks, he couldn't imagine life without it.

Within fifteen minutes, Yuuri was dressed and ready for their morning jog. Viktor was waiting for him at the door, talking to Yuuri's mother. Even though his back was to Yuuri, he turned around, that familiar heart shaped smile on his face. “Yuuri.”

“Good morning,” Yuuri said as he was grabbed by his soulmate. As promised, he got a kiss. The song exploded in pleasure, singing its praises to their bond. There wasn't a feeling like it. Yuuri could feel Viktor's fingers running through his hair.

It was the best way to start the day.

Yuuri was the one to stop the kiss. He looked over Viktor's shoulder to his mother, who was smiling at him. After their first kiss, Yuuri had told his family about being Viktor's soulmate. They were surprised but happy for him. They were also pretty forgiving, as Viktor was a tactile person before they found out they were soulmates. After, he was a lot worse and Yuuri’s family had to put up with his near constant displays of affection. But after six months, watching Viktor make out with Yuuri at 8:20 in the morning was nothing.

“We'll be heading out,” Yuuri said sheepishly. He grabbed his boyfriend's hand, the song becoming more intense, and pulled him out the door.

“Have a good day,” his mother called back.

Their morning run culminated with practice at Ice Castle Hatsetsu. The rink was empty at this time in the morning. Yuuri may have been tired, but being on the ice immediately got him his energy back. After warming up, he started the “Eros” routine.

He didn't used to need the music to practice but having the song changed that. Yuuri noticed that when he skated and really focused on it, the beats of the song would change so it matched his music. He'd told Viktor shortly after it happened for the first time but his song hadn't changed when Yuuri's did. Then Viktor started looking for it. He told him that his skating improved when the songs synced and that he could see on Yuuri’s face when it did. Apparently, Yuuri calmed down when it happened. Yuuri could concur, it was much easier to skate when the songs synced.

Yuuri caught Viktor at Ice Castle very early the day after the song changed for Yuuri the first time. Viktor was playing his music and skating to old routines. Yuuri had never seen him fall so many times. He looked so frustrated when he didn't notice Yuuri. As soon as he did, he smiled and made Yuuri practice. He never mentioned what he saw and Viktor never opened up about it. But Yuuri couldn't ignore the look on Viktor's face when the songs synced for him. It was something like longing, maybe even envy. Yuuri knew he was thinking of competing again but unless he could make the song work with him, he'd never be able to.

With the conflicting songs, it made choreographing “Yuuri on Ice” very difficult. Trying to practice it had been insanity and resulted in more bruises than Yuuri ever wanted to see again. But once he had the routine memorized, it made practicing that much easier.

As Yuuri skated, he noticed Yuuko waving at him. He stopped on the ice and the drum beat settled back into its usual pattern. The music still played but he could ignore it now. He skated over to his friend.

“Good morning,” Yuuko said with a smile. She and Takeshi were some of the few people who knew about Yuuri and Viktor being soulmates. They weren’t surprised, after all, Yuuri had fainted on the ice. Although Yuuko thought it might be a good opportunity to educate her daughters on soulmates, they all decided it was for the best not to tell them. After the video, Yuuri didn’t trust those girls with _any_ information about his personal life. He wasn’t even affectionate with Viktor at the rink for fear they’d post it on the internet.

“Good morning,” Yuuri replied.

“Sorry I distracted you,” Yuuko said, “You looked really good.”

“Thanks.” Yuuri had to be good. He was traveling to Russia for the Rostelecom Cup the next day and he wanted to do even better there than he did in China. After his quad flip, he’d been practicing to perfect it. He still wasn’t there yet, so he was going to do a combination at the Rostelecom Cup. But at the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri was going to do a quad flip and make Viktor proud. He just had to land it first.

“Is everything going well?” Yuuko asked, “You’ve adjusted well to, you know.”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

“Yuuri!” The triplets looked over the walls of the rink and smiled.

“Hi, girls,” he said awkwardly.

“Yuuri, the Rostelecom Cup is tomorrow,” Viktor called from the ice, “You need to practice or you won’t get a medal.”

“Alright,” Yuuri called back.

“Go, skate. I’ll talk to you later, Yuuri. Come on girls.” Yuuko walked off, followed by her daughters.

“Yuuri, you should start “Eros” again,” Viktor instructed. They had Yuuri’s iPod hooked up to a speaker so they could play the song back as needed. Viktor skated over to it and started the song over.

Yuuri moved to the center of the rink and started the routine again. He just had to focus on the moves. He was seducing Viktor, his soulmate. He had a part to play, a lover to call his own.

The drum beat synced to the song and Yuuri knew the piece would be no trouble.

They ran through “Eros” a few times to make sure it was perfect. Viktor had his little critiques on different parts but on the whole, there really weren’t any problems with it. It was “Yuuri on Ice” where they had problems.

Yuuri found it harder for his song to sync with “Yuuri on Ice”. He didn’t know why but he just couldn’t seem to focus enough to get the songs to stop fighting one another.

Viktor changed the music to “Yuuri on Ice”. Yuuri tried to concentrate, tried to focus on the moves he was doing. “Yuuri on Ice” had a story too, the story of Yuuri’s skating career. He wanted to embody all the emotions the piece called for: the hopelessness he felt when he thought he was alone, the courage he gained from his family and friends, the anxiety he felt competing, the love he felt for Viktor. He wanted everyone to be able to see his story through his skating.

Instead, he over rotated his combination. He tripped over his skates and fell to the ground. The music stopped.

“Yuuri.” The song in his head grew softer for Viktor’s voice.

“Yes, Viktor?” Yuuri got back to his feet and looked at his soulmate. Viktor did not seem happy. The song filtered in his frustration. That certainly wouldn’t make it any easier to skate.

“You weren’t focused were you?”

“I can’t get the song to sync today.”

“Hmm.” Viktor looked concerned. With two songs running through Yuuri’s head, he couldn’t concentrate on “Yuuri on Ice”. His head was starting to hurt.

“I'm going to keep trying,” Yuuri insisted.

The music started again. He put all his focus on his hands to start. He slid back, focus back on his hands. He could do it. The only reason he did so well in the Cup of China was because he made the song sync.

His first jumps came up. A quadruple toe loop, double toe loop combination. He could hear the music but the song in his head was louder.

He executed his jumps. Despite the dueling songs, Yuuri thought he'd done well.

“Good,” Viktor said.

The drum beat changed to match “Yuuri on Ice”. Yuuri couldn't help but smile. He ran through the rest of the routine without a problem. Once he came out of his final pose, the drum beat accelerated.

“Yuuri, that was the best one yet!” Viktor called excitedly. He skated over and threw his arms around his soulmate. The song grew louder and sweeter. It exploded in pleasure when Viktor kissed him.

Once Viktor pulled back, Yuuri scanned the rink for the triplets. Satisfied they weren't there, he allowed himself to be excited too.

“I got it to work with me,” Yuuri said.

“You did great,” Viktor reiterated, “But your triple axel single loop triple salchow combination is still sloppy. It always looks like you have no control over your body for the single loop. And another thing-” Viktor continued on, listing every problem he saw. Yuuri sometimes wondered how good his program was when the “best one yet” warranted this much criticism.

They spent the rest of the afternoon practicing, trying to correct all the little problems in his routine. Yuuri got his song to sync with “Yuuri on Ice” several more times. He was feeling pretty confident by the end of practice. They even spent some time practicing the quad flip. Not much progress was made there; the best thing was that Yuuri got to watch Viktor perform it over and over again.

They headed back to the inn late. Yuuri's head was hurting after all the practice. It was pretty normal that he'd get a headache after the song changed so many times. He took some medication and it helped dull the pain. Viktor was lucky. He rarely got headaches like Yuuri did.  

After dinner, they both spent some time soaking in the hot springs. After all the practice, the warm water felt wonderful. Viktor took the opportunity to throw his arm over Yuuri's shoulders and talk to him about his homeland. He was very excited to be going back to Russia, if only for a few days.

And they were both excited to see Yuri again. They hadn't seen the teenager since the Onsen on Ice competition. Viktor had told Yuuri that the other Yuri had figured out they were soulmates. So far, he was the only person who knew who they hadn't told themselves. But Yuri had kept it quiet.

The media would have a field day if they found out. Not to mention it could severely damage both their careers. There were a lot of challenges to overcome when one had a soulmate. Many people thought that people with soulmates were unproductive members of society since they had the song. The song was demanding, claiming all of a person’s attention. It was a distraction at best, a complete hindrance at worst. Some people believed that a person with the song couldn’t focus on anything but their soulmate and therefore couldn’t work a job well or focus in school or even be good friend. It was a terrible stereotype and while not everyone believed it, the stigma remained. Only a small handful of celebrities said they had soulmates and it always resulted in a scandal.

Yuuri and Viktor could not allow a scandal to consume their careers this late in the game. And while the song certainly made skating harder, neither of them had any intention of giving it up. So the two of them were keeping the soulmate part of their relationship quiet. The chance of keeping their entire relationship quiet died when Viktor kissed Yuuri on national television. Viktor would never be accused of being subtle. But it was just part of his charms, another reason Yuuri cared for him.

Despite how nice it was to relax by Viktor's side in the warm water, Yuuri got out. The song grew faster in complaint and Viktor looked hurt.

“Why are you going?” he asked.

“I still have to pack for tomorrow,” Yuuri replied, “And you have to pack too, Viktor. Let's get out.”

“But it’s so nice here,” Viktor complained. He leaned over dramatically and grabbed Yuuri's ankle. The song grew louder, happy they were touching again.

“Come on, Viktor,” Yuuri said. He knelt down to pry Viktor's fingers off but he let go. Yuuri stood back up.

He heard Viktor moving in the water and then get out next to him, water dripping on the ground. Yuuri turned to look at him and got pulled into a gentle kiss. These calm moments were the happiest for him. For most of his life, he couldn't imagine Viktor being by his side and now he wouldn't consider a world without it.

They dried off and split up, Viktor to his room and Yuuri to his. Despite the fact that they were soulmates, they'd gone no further than making out. Viktor seemed eager to go further but Yuuri wasn’t ready to. They still slept the night in separate rooms.

Yuuri spent some time packing for the next few days. Eventually, he finished and started getting ready to sleep. Just as he finished putting on his pajamas, he heard a scraping noise on his door. The song was louder so Makkachin wasn't alone.

Yuuri opened the door to see exactly what he was expecting, Makkachin and Viktor standing there.

“Get a good night's sleep, love,” Viktor said, giving Yuuri a quick kiss.

“Good night, Viktor.”

“Good night. Come on, Makkachin.”

The dog looked at Viktor and then calmly walked inside Yuuri's room.

“I think that's a sign,” Viktor said with a laugh.

“It's a sign that Makkachin wants to sleep with me tonight,” Yuuri replied.

“He's not the only one.”

Yuuri could feel himself blushing. Viktor knew when to take an opportunity. “We can't do that in front of Makkachin.”

“He won't mind. He never has.” Either Viktor really wanted to get into Yuuri's pants or that said something about Viktor's sexual escapades and Yuuri had no desire to find out which one it was. But he suspected it was probably both.

“Not tonight, Viktor.”

Viktor’s expression barely changed. He was used to it. “Okay. Good night, love.”

“Good night.”

Viktor walked off down the hall and Yuuri closed his door. Makkachin was sitting on his bed.

“Ready for bed?” Yuuri asked. Makkachin barked and lay down next to the wall. Yuuri turned off the lights and got into bed beside him. With the song steadily beating in his mind, he soon fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to update this fic every Saturday until it's done.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed the story. See you next week.


	2. Chapter 2

_‘Cause baby, I could build a castle,_

_Out of all the bricks they threw at me._

_And every day is like a battle,_

_But every night with us is like a dream._

_New Romantics, Taylor Swift_

 

* * *

Yuri arrived back at the hotel in a good mood. He always liked seeing his grandfather, a task made harder by his skating career. Yuri craved those few times he got to see him. His grandfather even offered to let him stay overnight while he was in Moscow but Yuri had turned him down. Yakov would throw a bitch fit and Yuri didn't want to deal with it.

Unfortunately, as soon as he got back, he could see the reporters in the lobby. And they were talking to one silver haired has-been.

Yuri sighed and decided to just face it. He hadn't seen Viktor since the Onsen on Ice competition. He knew Viktor and the other Yuuri were soulmates but didn't know how that had changed them. After all, it was a pretty big deal, having a soulmate.

Yuri didn’t hear the questions the reporters asked but he heard Viktor’s answer, “Until the Grand Prix Final is over, I won’t comment on any future plans. Right now, I see a lot of potential in Katsuki Yuuri’s skating.” Yuri was sure that wasn’t all he saw in the other Yuuri. “I’d like you all to focus on Yuuri during the Rostelecom Cup.”

Yuri felt quite deflated. He was in the Rostelecom Cup too.

He was about to walk away when he heard Viktor’s voice. “Hey, it’s Yurio.” The desire to walk away turned into the desire to sprint away. Reporters were like vultures and Yuri was not their prey.

Viktor walked over to him and pulled him close. “Did you all see the short program I put together for Yurio?”

Yuri hit Viktor’s wrist and knocked the coffee out of his hand. The good mood from seeing his grandfather was gone. One thing was clear, Viktor was still an annoying prick, even with a soulmate.

“Quite acting like you’re still the top Russian figure skater,” Yuri said instead, “I’m the star in this event.”

Viktor was still smiling and Yuri hated it. He could just blurt out the fact that Yuuri and Viktor were soulmates and let the reporters eat him alive. But not even Yuri was that cruel. It would cause too big a scandal and Yuri wanted him to leave him alone, not leave skating altogether. He wasn’t that much of a brat.

So he just walked away and let the reporters keep talking to Viktor. He had nothing to say to them. As he walked over to the elevators, he noticed most of the skaters there. Michele and Sara were yelling, Seung Gil looked bored and Yuuri was trying to escape into another elevator. And there was no way Yuri was gonna let him.

Yuri stuck his foot in the door and it opened again for him. “Why are you sneaking around?” he asked.

“Yurio. Good to see you,” Yuuri replied.

Yuri walked in and none of the other skaters followed them in. Since they were alone, he asked, “How’s the adjustment been?”

“Hmm?” Yuuri looked confused.

“The song.” Yuuri looked scandalized that Yuri would mention it in public, even if “public” was a closed elevator. Yuri glared at him, as if questioning why he was so stupid.

“Um, it’s been okay. It’s a little hard to accommodate it in my life now,” Yuuri admitted.

“Can you skate with it?” That was a dumb question and Yuri knew it. He’d watched Yuuri skate perfectly when he’d had the song not ten minutes, not nearly enough time to adjust to it. He’d watched Yuuri take silver at the Cup of China. He knew he could skate with the song.

“Yeah. I’ve learned how to.” His answer was modest to the point of stupidity.  But Yuri didn't care.

“Good. If you can’t skate then you’re no competition.”

“Hmm.” Yuri was curious to know what that noise meant but he didn’t ask. “Good luck to us both at the competition.”

“Hmm.” Yuri got off on his floor and didn’t think to say goodbye. He’d see Yuuri tomorrow and that was what mattered.

* * *

Yuuri was listening to the song. It played steadily in his head, grounding him, keeping him calm. He was always at least a little nervous before a competition. And despite the distraction it could often be, the moments before a competition, Yuuri enjoyed listening to the song.

Michele was getting off the ice and Yuuri got on. He stood at the wall of the rink, Viktor on the other side. He heard people cheering his boyfriend's name. Viktor turned around and waved at them.

Yuuri couldn't help but feel frustrated. The song picked up in tempo. He knew Viktor could hear his frustration and was ignoring it. This was _his_ moment and he couldn't even keep his soulmate's attention.

Impulsively, he grabbed Viktor's tie. Yuuri thought he'd regret it at soon as the deed was done but he didn't. He loved the confused expression on Viktor's face.

He put a hand to Viktor's cheek and made it impossible for either of them to focus on anything else. The song grew louder and sweeter and in that moment, nothing mattered but the two of them.

“The performance has already begun, Viktor,” Yuuri said calmly.

“You’re right,” Viktor replied in the same tone of voice.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show my love to the whole of Russia.”

“Next on the ice, representing Japan, Yuuri Katsuki.”

Yuuri decided he was going to scandalize all of Viktor's Russian fans. He pulled on Viktor's tie to pull him closer and kissed his cheek. Then Yuuri pulled himself away and skated to the center of the rink.

The crowd was cheering but not enough. Yuuri was going to amaze them. After all, he had to prove himself worthy of Viktor. If Yuuri stole him away from his country, he would have to amaze them. But despite those thoughts, Yuuri didn't feel any pressure anymore. His nervousness was gone. He knew he could do this. He'd already proved to himself and to Viktor that he was worthy. It was just time to tell Russia too.

The drum beat thundered in his head, off beat to the music that started playing. But he knew that was going to happen. It always did. He looked at Viktor watching him and blew a kiss.

He could hear gasps but it didn't matter. The songs synced.

He started the routine, going through it with ease. The song in his head matched the beats of “Eros” and made skating so much easier. He could barely remember what it was like to skate without the song. He never wanted to again.

He finished in his final pose and the stadium went wild. They were cheering for him now. Yuuri knew he could do it. Viktor was smiling at him proudly. Offerings were thrown on the ice and Yuuri skated to collect a couple before going back to the kiss and cry.

The song grew a little louder as he went back to Viktor. But as he skated back, someone was standing there.

Yuri’s expression was the same as always: vaguely annoyed with everything. It was the same costume and same confidence. But something seemed different about Yuri. His hair was longer but something in his demeanor had changed, something Yuuri hadn’t noticed in the elevator. Yuuri was honestly excited to see how much his skating had improved.

“Out of my way, pig,” Yuri said.

Yuuri didn't say anything and just got out of the fifteen year old’s way. He and Viktor just watched him state over to Yakov.

“This is Yurio’s real agape,” Yuuri said.

“Wow,” Viktor and Yuuri said at once and watched Yuri. Yuuri couldn't help but smile. That was the change.

They moved to the kiss and cry and Viktor put his arm around Yuuri. The song grew sweeter and Yuuri had to resist resting his head on Viktor's shoulder. It just seemed appropriate but he figured this wasn't the place.

“The score for Yuuri Katsuki: 109.97. He’s surpassed his personal best again! He is currently in first place.”

Yuuri had done it again! His skating had improved so much with Viktor by his side.

Yuuri turned to his soulmate. The look of love in Viktor's eyes was beautiful. But then he let Yuuri go and the song grew quieter. Yuuri could hear the roar of the crowd now but he wasn't focusing on that.

Viktor got up from his seat and went down on his knees in front of Yuuri. He had no idea what Viktor was planning on doing but he trusted his soulmate.

Viktor held Yuuri's foot, the song growing louder. Yuuri just watched as Viktor brought his lips to his skate. The song sped up. It felt so good. Yuuri couldn't help but sigh in contentment.

“Oh my! Overcome with happiness, Nikiforov kissed Katsuki’s skate!”

Yuuri knew why he was doing it. Since arriving in Russia, Yuuri was ignored as everyone wanted a piece of Viktor. But for him to get down on his knees and kiss Yuuri's skate, that sent a pretty clear message. Yuuri was reminded, yet again, just how much he loved his soulmate.

Yuuri looked up and noticed Yuri glaring at him.

“Yurio, davai!” He shouted.

Viktor stood up, nearly knocking into Yuuri. “Yurio, ganba!”

That only seemed to piss off Yuri further, as he angrily skated away. Yuuri had to smile. There were some things about Yuri that just weren't going to change.

* * *

Yuuri was pretty proud of himself. He was in second place going into the free skate, which was probably for the best. He didn’t need another panic attack.  And he'd even gotten a personal best.

Not to mention, Yuri had done very well too. He was in third place.

There were a few things to do before heading back to the hotel. Some reporters wanted interviews and Viktor was happy to oblige, on Yuuri's behalf.

They had just wrapped one up when Yuuri's phone started ringing. It was no surprise to see it was his sister. His family always called him after a competition.

“Hello?”

“Yuuri.” Mari sounded upset.

“Mari-nee-chan? What's wrong?”

“It’s Makkachin. He ate some steamed buns and choked on them. We're at the vet but they don't know if he'll make it.”

The song let out a single note shriek that made Yuuri jump. Viktor noticed and put a hand on his shoulder. The song grew sweeter but Yuuri could hear a nervous edge to it. Viktor had to know something was wrong now.

“Yuuri, what should we do?” The only thing Yuuri could think about was Vic-chan. His poor dog had died without seeing Yuuri for five years. It had hurt so much it completely messed him up at the Grand Prix Final.

Yuuri turned to look at his soulmate. He couldn't subject Viktor to that pain. If Makkachin did die, Viktor needed to be there.

“I need to talk to Viktor. I'll call you back, okay?”

“Okay. I'm sorry, Yuuri.” She hung up and Yuuri took a deep breath.

“Yuuri, what is it?” Viktor asked.

“Makkachin choked on some steamed buns,” Yuuri said, “He may be dying. Viktor, you have to go back to Japan.”

Viktor flinched, probably for the same reason Yuuri had. The song went back to its regular pattern as Viktor let go. Yuuri could hear the worry pouring into the song.

“I can't go back,” Viktor said, “The competition isn't over yet. I'm your coach. I need to be here for you.”

“I can't make you go through what I went though with Vic-chan.”

Viktor leaned in closer and whispered, “And what about the bond? We might lose it at that distance. How will you skate without it?”

“You have to go back. I'll manage, Viktor. I lived without it for twenty-three years. I can handle two days.”

“Yuuri,” Viktor said. But Yuuri wasn't going to relent. He knew Viktor had to go, regardless of the consequences on their bond.

Viktor turned and his face lit up. He walked away and Yuuri turned to look at what he saw. Yakov and Yuri were walking in and Viktor made a beeline to them.

“Yakov, you’re the only coach for me,” Viktor said.

“Oh, have you decided to come back to skating?” Yakov asked.

“I need to go back to Japan. For tomorrow, can you be Yuuri’s coach too?”

“Huh?”

“Huh?”

“Huh?”

It took some explaining but Yakov did agree. As much as it hurt that Viktor was leaving, Yuuri was happy. He wasn’t making the same mistake Yuuri made. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to go through the same pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda have to set the scene with this chapter. Next chapter, things will be different compared to the show.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it. :) See you next Saturday.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the angst sets in.

_Is it over yet?_

_Can I open my eyes?_

_Is this as hard as it gets?_

_Is this what it feels like to really cry?_

_Cry, Kelly Clarkson_

 

* * *

Viktor and Yuuri were making a scene. Sure, no one else knew why their parting was so difficult. To the outside world, they probably just looked like lovesick fools. Not that Yuri was denying they were lovesick fools; they absolutely were. But Yuri had to give them this one, after all, they were probably going to lose the song. So they were allowed be so disgustingly cute in the lobby. To a point. Yuri still thought it was sickening but he wasn’t going to say anything. He was just watching.

There were no tears, thank god, but there was a lot of hugging and talking. They were just standing by the door, Viktor’s luggage next to him. They were talking in low voices so Yuri didn’t hear what they were saying. Probably talking about the bond.

There was one more hug and Viktor walked out the door. Yuuri looked so lost, eyes downcast. He took a deep breath and turned around, going back towards the elevators. Was he crying? Yuri wasn't completely sure but probably.

He was going to be a mess. There was no way he’d be able to compete if he was having this much of a reaction to Viktor just walking away. Without the bond, he’d be in last place for sure.

Yuri sighed. He knew he would probably regret this but decided to do it anyway. He called his grandfather.

“Yurochka? Is something wrong?” Yeah, there was. Why hadn’t his grandfather been at the competition? He was Yuri’s agape and it would have helped for him to be there. Maybe he’d be in second place. But he didn’t want to mention that.

“I changed my mind. Can I still stay over tonight?”

“Of course. You’re always welcome here.”

Yuri couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks Grandpa. And can I bring someone with me?”

“Oh? Who is it?”

“One of the skaters. He’ll need this.”

“Alright. I’ll be there in half an hour. And I have something for you.”

“You do?” Yuri asked excitedly, “What is it?”

“You’ll know when you get here. Good bye, Yurochka.”

“Bye, Grandpa. Thanks.” Yuri hung up the phone and smiled. This would help. This would work. Except now he had to go put up with a bitch fit.

* * *

The song was growing quiet. It wasn’t gone, not even close, but after living with Viktor for six months, it was uncomfortably quiet. Yuuri was trying to hold it together. It was for the best. Viktor had to go back for Makkachin. That didn’t mean that his absence didn’t hurt, but Yuuri knew he’d done the right thing sending him back. He just wished he felt better.

There was a knock at the door, which made Yuuri jump. But it wasn’t quite a knock, more like someone had kicked it. At first, he thought it might have been an accident, but then it came again.

Yuuri knew who was at the door. He got up and opened it, moving out of the way as he did. He watched the other Yuri’s leg shoot in, obviously trying to kick him.

“Finally wised up then?” Yuri asked.

“Did you want something?” Yuuri asked. It came out harsher than he intended but he was tired and upset. He didn’t want to have to deal with the moody teenager.

Yuri put his leg down and gave him a cocky smile.  “Pack your bags. You’re coming with me.”

Yuuri blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Did you not hear me? Pack your shit and let’s go.” He crossed his arms in annoyance. Yuuri noticed he was wearing a backpack.

“Go where?”

“We’re going with someone who can help you,” Yuri snapped, “Now get your stuff. We’re spending the night there.”

“What?”

Yuri sighed and walked into the room. “It’s just for tonight and we’ll be back before the competition so you can leave your costume here. Just take what you need for overnight.”

Yuuri was very confused and Yuri wasn’t explaining anything. But he also wasn’t taking no for an answer. And he did say it was to help Yuuri so he followed his instructions. He only had a small bag anyway and packed up his things quickly.

Yuri grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the hotel room. He dragged him outside and they stood in the cold, waiting for something. Yuuri didn’t know what.

“Does Yakov know we’re leaving?” Yuuri asked.

“Yeah. And he threw a bitch fit but I got permission so don’t worry about it.”

They were silent for a moment. The song was very quiet. Yuuri tried to focus on it, as if that would make it louder.

“He’s here!” Yuuri nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned towards the younger skater. Yuri had an expression of childish glee. Yuuri followed his eyes and noticed an older man parked across the street. He was getting out of his car.

Yuri rushed forward and Yuuri grabbed him by his hood. The teenager was yanked back just as a car drove by.

“I wasn’t gonna run out in the street, idiot!” Yuri said.

“Sorry. It looked like you were,” Yuuri replied, letting go of his hood. Yuri made sure to dramatically look both ways before actually crossing the street. Then he ran into the arms of the man.

Yuuri carefully crossed the street too. He had no idea who the man was but he had to be special to Yuri. He’d never seen the teenager look so happy.

“My name is Nikolai Plistesky, Yuri’s grandfather,” the man said and extended his hand.

Yuuri took it. “I’m Yuuri Katsuki.” Nikolai smiled when he said his name.

“Yeah, it gets confusing,” Yuri added, “Can we get going?” It was at least nice to know that Yuri was always like this.

Nikolai said something in Russian and Yuri looked taken aback. He replied and crossed his arms but he looked more guilty than anything else.  Yuuri had no idea what was being said between them.

They all got in the car, Yuri in the front seat and Yuuri in the back. He still had no idea where they were going so he asked.

“We’re going back to my house,” Nikolai said, “Yurochka asked if he could bring you.”

“Yurio?”

“Remember I said you needed someone’s help? That someone is Grandpa. He had a soulmate too.”

“Yurochka!”

“Yurio!”

Yuri sighed. “No one else can hear in here.”

Nikolai looked annoyed at Yuri and Yuri looked guilty. He turned away in shame. Yuuri had never seen him act like this.

“So, Yuuri, you have a soulmate?” Nikolai asked.

“Y-yes.” He hadn’t wanted to say it but Yuri had already spilled his secret. The song was so quiet right now and he hated it. He wanted Viktor to be there. It was so much easier to deal with things like this with Viktor by his side.

“As Yurochka has already said, I had one as well. If you don’t mind my asking, who is yours?”

“Viktor,” Yuuri replied quietly.

“Yes, _the_ Viktor Nikiforov,” Yuri added.

Nikolai seemed surprised by that. Yuuri had to admit, it was surprising. Even _he_ hadn’t believed it at first, until Viktor had kissed him for the first time. To know that Viktor Nikiforov had a soulmate was shocking, especially knowing it was him.

“How long have you two known?”

“Six months.”

“The day I came back to Russia, they found out,” Yuri said.

“At your competition?” Nikolai asked.

“Yeah. He skated with the song for the first time and beat me,” Yuri said, sulking.

“You left,” Yuuri replied, “You didn’t know you lost but you left.”

“You didn’t see the way Viktor was looking at you. No, I knew.”

Yuuri was quiet for a moment.

“It will be good for Viktor,” Nikolai said, “He’s done little but skate for a long time.”

“I hope I am,” Yuuri replied.

The drive to Nikolai’s house was filled with small talk, mostly about soulmates. Yuuri didn’t know that Yuri had such a personal experience with soulmates before. It was no wonder he immediately knew he and Viktor were soulmates. Of course he could recognize it when he saw it again.

Nikolai lived on the outskirts of Moscow. It was a small house but Yuuri liked it. It was nicely decorated and cozy. But it seemed a little too big for one man.

“I’m gonna go to my room,” Yuri said as they walked in. He ran down a hall and disappeared into a room. Maybe that's why it seemed too big.

“You can stay in the guest room,” Nikolai said, “Let me show you.” They walked down the hall and stopped at the room next to Yuri’s room. Yuuri could tell it was his, there had been a poster on the door, but it had been ripped off. The taped corners were still there. Yuuri could only guess what kind of poster had been there but he figured probably something figure skating related.

Nikolai opened the door and Yuuri was greeted with a cozy little room. The bed had already been made.

“It's nice,” Yuuri said, “Thank you.”

“I'll let you get settled,” Nikolai said and then turned to Yuri's room. “Yurochka, I need your help.”

“I'll be right there,” Yuri replied. Nikolai walked back down the hall and a few seconds later, Yuri followed after him.

Yuuri sat down on the bed. He didn't have nearly enough to “get settled”. He listened for the song in his head. It was so soft now. He couldn't tell what Viktor was feeling; the drumbeat was so steady.

Viktor had to be on his plane now. It was much quieter than when he was at the airport. This was the softest the song had ever been.

“Hey.” Yuuri looked at the door to see Yuri standing there. “You can cook right? Get off your butt and help us.”

“Uh, okay.” Cooking would at least take his mind off of Viktor.

* * *

Yuri was surprising even himself. It wasn't like  he and Yuuri were particularly close. It wasn't like Yuri was particularly close to anyone.

But he accepted the responsibility of making Yuuri feel better. He knew having his grandfather around would probably help. And distracting him would too. Which was why he came to collect him.

They walked back to the kitchen.

“So what do you need me to do?” Yuuri asked.

Nikolai looked up at him, confused. “Thank you, Yuuri. If you could make the eggs.”

“Sure.”

“Yurochka, you can make the rice.”

“Okay,” Yuri replied. He went to the fridge and got the eggs for Yuuri.

“How many should I make?”

“Three will be enough.”

The kitchen was really crowded with all three of them. Hell, it was crowded when it was just Yuri and Nikolai. With the three of them in there, it meant that Yuri was elbowed multiple times. He almost dropped the bowl he was carrying because Yuuri stepped on his foot. Had it been anywhere else, he would have let him have it. But because his grandfather was standing right there, Yuri just accepted his apology and said nothing else.

It took a while but Yuri eventually figured out what they were making. It was definitely pirozhki but it was different.

“Grandpa,” Yuri said, “What are we making?”

Nikolai smiled and answered, “You mentioned how much you liked the pork cutlet bowls in Japan.”

Yuuri stopped what he was doing and looked at them. “We're making katsudon?”

If anyone should have been able to figure that out it would be him. Yuri had to refrain from calling him an idiot.

“But we're making pirozhki aren't we?” Yuri asked.

“We're making pork cutlet bowl pirozhki,” Nikolai replied.

Both Yuris looked at each other. This was a combination of their favorite foods.

“This is your surprise, isn't it?” Yuri asked. His grandfather only smiled in reply.

“Yurio, thank you,” Yuuri said. He was smiling at him. Apparently, this had been what he needed.

“Yeah. No problem,” Yuri muttered in reply.

“Yuuri, I wanted to ask why you call my grandson ‘Yurio',” Nikolai said.

Yuuri stiffened up. He looked ridiculously uncomfortable and Yuri found that amusing. Served him right for calling him something that wasn't his name.

“Well, when Yurio, I mean, Yuri came to Japan, my sister gave him the nickname ‘Yurio' so everyone could tell us apart,” Yuuri explained, trailing off towards the end.

“Now everyone from there calls me that,” Yuri complained, “Even Viktor calls me that.”

Yuuri's awkward expression disappeared and he looked down into the eggs. He was biting his lip.

“Can you still hear him?” Nikolai asked, clearly understanding what was wrong.

Yuuri nodded at first and then spoke, “Yes. It was steady for a while now but it's getting quieter now.” Yuuri looked down sadly. “I'm not ready to lose this.”

“You're gonna have to be,” Yuri said, “It’s gonna happen pretty soon.”

“Yurochka.” That was enough to shut Yuri up. He knew not to mess with his grandfather when he took that tone.

“You won't be ready,” Nikolai said, “You can't be ready to lose the song.”

“What's it like?” Yuuri whispered.

Yuri decided to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to but this was why he brought Yuuri here. He'd just be a mess otherwise. Being able to talk to Nikolai would at least keep Yuuri somewhat sane.

Nikolai thought for a moment before saying, “It feels like you've been hollowed out and your soulmate has all the pieces of you.”

The expression of terror on Yuuri's face was almost comical. But Yuri didn't think it was funny. Instead, things started making sense. He remembered just how devastated his grandfather was after his grandmother died. He'd stayed with Yuri’s family for a while. Yuri had been four but he still remembered his grandfather crying, having to be comforted by his son. Yuri's mother had the soulmate talk with Yuri that day.

Mostly children would learn about soulmates in school or through word of mouth. But sometimes children would encounter it early, through a family member or by having a soulmate themselves. The young ones generally got ‘the talk’ from their parents. Yuri remembered that he didn't really understand. He just knew that his grandfather loved his grandmother very much.

But something about Yuuri's expression made it click for him. Watching Yuuri and Viktor interact and now seeing Yuuri without Viktor made Yuri realize just how difficult this had to be for them. And he decided that he'd done the right thing.

“That sounds-” Yuuri didn't even finish the thought.

“There is no physical pain,” Nikolai explained, “But that doesn't mean it isn't painful.”

“Oh, Viktor.” He was going through the same pain and he thought of Viktor. It was almost sweet.

“You'll get through it,” Nikolai said, “We always do.”

It didn't take them long to finish the meal. Yuuri and Yuri were setting the table when Yuuri said, “Yurio, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Huh?”

“Why does your grandfather call you ‘Yurochka'?”

“It's a nickname for ‘Yuri’,” he replied, “Viktor never called you ‘Yura’ or something?”

“No,” Yuuri replied, “He just calls me by my name. Sometimes he-”

“I don't need to know,” Yuri interrupted.

“Sorry,” Yuuri replied, “Does ‘Viktor' have any nicknames?”

This put Yuri in a difficult position. He could lie and that would be the end of it. Yuuri wouldn't know the difference.

“If you want to use something, go with ‘Vitya',” Yuri said. He didn't know why his dumb mouth had betrayed him.

“Vitya?” Yuuri repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Thank you, Yurio.”

“You're welcome,” he muttered in reply. Viktor would be even more ridiculous with his PDA if Yuuri called him by a nickname. And they were already disgustingly cutesy. What had Yuri just subjected the skating world to? Hell hath no force like Viktor in love.

They sat down for dinner. Both Yuuri and Yuri immediately helped themselves to pirozhki. Nikolai looked at them expectantly.

Yuri took a bite. It was delicious but that was to be expected. After all, these were his grandfather's pirozhki. He expected nothing less.

“These are great,” Yuri said.

“They are,” Yuuri agreed, “Vkusno.” Yuri knew who he got that from.

Nikolai gave a little smile and then had one himself.

Yuuri was about to take another bite when he froze. “Oh.” He spoke quietly but it still caught Yuri and Nikolai’s attention.

“What?” Yuri asked.

The other Yuuri had dropped his pirozhok onto the plate. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply.

“You lost the song,” Nikolai said.

Yuuri just nodded. “I'm sorry,” he whispered and opened his eyes. “Please excuse me.” He all but ran to the bathroom.

Yuri just looked at his empty chair for a moment before looking at his grandfather.

“Should we-”

Nikolai shook his head. “He needs a minute. Don't disturb him, Yurochka.”

“You didn't have this reaction.”

“Everyone reacts in different ways. This is the first time he has been separated from his soulmate. Give him time. He'll be okay.”

Yuri’s eyes wandered to the chair again. “Hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment or kudos if you're enjoying the story. They make me happy. :) See you next Saturday for chapter 4.


	4. Chapter 4

_ I'm here without you, baby, _

_ But you're still on my lonely mind. _

_ I think about you, baby, _

_ And I dream about you all the time. _

_ Here Without You, 3 Doors Down _

 

* * *

Yuuri couldn't sleep. The guest room was very nice; the bed was comfortable and all. But it was more than that.

Worry was part of the reason he was awake. He was worried about his soulmate. He was worried about the competition the next day. He was worried about keeping his anxiety under control. But this was only part of the reason. 

Yuuri never thought he'd say that it was too quiet to sleep. But with the song in his head gone, the world seemed eerily quiet. He could hear the radiator squeaking as the heat poured into the room. Occasionally, a car would pass by outside. For a while, Yuuri could hear Yuri moving around in his room but it was quiet now. 

It had been six months since he'd heard such silence. It almost hurt to not be listening to the song. He’d thought he was going to be sick when he'd stopped hearing it. It was worse than his panic attacks. He felt like he'd fallen through the ice and was drowning in the freezing water underneath. Nikolai had been right, it didn't physically hurt but it hurt more than he could describe. He hoped Viktor was okay. He didn't have an anxiety disorder but that didn't mean this would be easy for him. And that was the problem.

Yuuri felt lonely. He was hugging a pillow but it was a poor substitute for Makkachin or Vic-chan. But he knew that he was just missing Viktor. He wanted his soulmate there with him, lying next to him, a warm body next to him with the song rushing through his head, lulling him to sleep. 

Yuuri flipped over and faced the door. If he didn't sleep, he would do worse at the competition. This couldn't have happened at a worse time!

There was a knock at the door. Yuuri nearly jumped. He hadn't heard Yuri moving around so he knew who was there.

Yuuri stood up, dropping the pillow on the bed, and walked to the door. It was no surprise at all to see Nikolai standing there.

“Did I wake you?” Nikolai asked.

“Uh, no. I was already awake.”

“You can't sleep without the song?” 

“No.” But Yuuri suspected he already knew the answer or he wouldn't be here.

“May I?” he asked.

“Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry.” Yuuri moved out of the doorway and let Nikolai in the room. Yuuri could hear all the subtle little sounds he missed with the song: the creak of the floor, Nikolai's breathing. 

“How are you doing?” Nikolai asked once he was inside the room and the door was closed. 

“Um, okay, I guess.” It was hard, so much harder than he imagined when he'd told Viktor to go. He'd been naive. Both he and Viktor had been starry-eyed about their soulmate relationship. It had been six months of getting used to it and falling into a pattern with the kisses and touches. Neither of them had side effects too severe so they just got to enjoy their bond. And then it was ripped away from them and Yuuri remembered how much of a curse having a soulmate was. Having the song was difficult. But without, Yuuri didn't know what to do anymore. And he had no idea how he was going to skate the next day. 

“I didn't realize what it would mean to tell Viktor to go,” Yuuri said.

Nikolai nodded. “The first day is always the hardest. You learn to live with the silence.”

“What was your soulmate like? If you don't mind me asking.”

Nikolai only smiled and took a seat on the bed. Yuuri moved the pillow and took a seat next to him. 

“What drew me to Galina was her spirit. She was stubborn and she was not afraid to say anything. Her parents thought she'd never find a husband.” Nikolai laughed a little.

“How old were you when you met?”

“I was seventeen and she was sixteen. Her family had just moved into the town. It wasn't until we were in our twenties when we found out we were soulmates. Her parents were happy. Mine were less so.”

“Why?”

“All the old stigmas were around back in those days. They didn't think I could be a productive husband or worker if I had the song.”

Yuuri knew how lucky he was that he'd avoided that so far. Everyone who knew was nothing but supportive. Of course, there were only a handful of people who knew: Yuuri's family, Minako, Yuuko and Takashi, Phichit, Chris, Yuri, and now his grandfather. Not enough people knew to judge them yet. But if the media found out, both their careers would be in serious trouble. It wasn't safe for them to come out as soulmates publicly. Maybe someday they could, but for now, ten people knowing was enough.

“We proved them wrong, of course. But I didn't see much of my family for a long time after we were married. It was only when Yurochka’s father was born did we contact them again.”

“That must have been hard on you,” Yuuri said. Living with the song was hard enough; he couldn't imagine not having his family's support.

“I thought because I had my soulmate, we could make it just fine. But once my family came back into my life, I realized what I had missed without them.”

“Were they supportive?”

“Not truly. But they had accepted that Galina and I would be together for the rest of our lives. And they wanted to see our son.”

“How long did you hear the song?” Yuuri asked. 

“Thirty-six years.” Yuuri's eyes widened in shock. He had only had the song for six months. He couldn't imagine what life would be like to have it for thirty-six years.

“That's-” He didn't even have the words for it. 

“Those were the best years of my life. When you live with the song for that long, you don’t remember what life was like without it. Galina’s passing was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure.”

Yuuri realized that this was what having a soulmate was like in the long term. He and Viktor were still learning to live with the song. And they'd found ways to make it work. Yuuri wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He couldn't imagine it without Viktor. But Nikolai was living without his soulmate.

“How did you?” Yuuri hesitated a moment. “If you don't mind me asking.” 

“Slowly. You're never ready to lose your soulmate. I stayed with my son for a time. Yurochka would beg me to take him ice skating every day and that helped. I could not forget Galina, but it helped to keep me distracted.”

“It was good that you had your family,” Yuuri said. Yuri had been so kind to him to bring him to his home, to allow him to talk to his grandfather. It really was helping. Yuri had matured in six months. 

“Thank you,” Yuuri said, “Talking to you really helps.”

“Good. That seems to have been Yurochka’s intention. I think you and Viktor are good for him.”

“Thank you.” Yuuri wasn't sure what else to say. He had gotten the approval of Yuri’s grandfather. 

“Oh, I forgot,” Nikolai said, “I meant to get this for you.” He stood up and left the room. Yuuri stood too and looked into the hallway. Nikolai had gone back to his room. After a minute, he came back out with a silver box. It had a cord attached so it plugged into the wall. Yuuri had no idea what it was.

“This is a white noise machine,” Nikolai said as he set it down on the nightstand, “It's a poor substitute for the song but it may help you sleep.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri said, “But don't you need it?”

“I stopped hearing the song eleven years ago,” Nikolai said, “I've learned to adjust. You need this more than I do tonight.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri repeated, “You've helped me so much.” 

“You're welcome. I'll let you get some sleep.”

“Okay. Thank you again. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Nikolai left the room and Yuuri was again alone in the silence. He felt better having talked to him but he was still lonely. He still missed Viktor terribly.

Yuuri lay down in the bed and turned his attention to the machine. There are several buttons off center and one giant button in the middle. He pressed that one and a quiet noise started. It sounded like a heartbeat. 

The regular steady beats reminded Yuuri of the song. The song was alive, changing its patterns and intensity, volume rising and falling with Yuuri's distance from Viktor, emotions being poured along the drum beats. This was a poor replication but it was something. 

Yuuri gripped the pillow again and tried to focus on the white noise. It took a while but he was finally able to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Yuri knocked on the door to the guest room. His grandfather had told him to wake their guest as they had plans for the day before their competition. 

Yuri knocked again but the other Yuuri didn't reply. Undeterred, he walked inside the room. The first thing he noticed was the white noise machine. His grandfather used it frequently after his grandmother died to try and sleep. To think the other Yuuri would use it, in his grandfather's house, it seemed hard for Yuri to believe. But the proof was there in front of him, turned away from the door, still asleep.

“Oi, Katsudon. Get up. We have places to go to.”

Yuuri didn't even stir. Yuri sighed and turned off the white noise machine. 

Yuuri made a small, sleepy noise and started shifting in the bed. Yuri sighed again. Of course the loss of the noise would wake him up. He was very glad his grandfather wasn't in the room. “Are you fucking kidding me? Pig, wake up!”

Yuuri sat up and turned to look at him. “Yurio?” He reached over to the nightstand to grab his glasses.

“That still isn't my name. Get up. We're going out.”

“Is the competition starting soon?” Yuuri was awake now, and looked concerned.

“No, but we have somewhere to go. So get up.” Yuri left the room then. He went back to the kitchen to help his grandfather with breakfast. It was still pretty early but they had to prepare for the competition. Yuri had promised Yakov that he'd be back by noon so the earlier they started the better.

After a quick breakfast, both Yuuri and Yuri packed up their things. Yuuri was still confused but Yuri wanted to surprise him. He'd been doing that a lot lately.

They got to their destination quickly. It was nice to not be stuck in traffic. 

“We're at an ice rink?” Yuuri asked as they got out of the car. This was the rink Yuri went to when he was young and still lived in Moscow. He had a lot of happy memories there with his grandfather.

“You will need to get used to skating without the song,” Nikolai said.

“So we’re here to practice,” Yuri added. 

“I don't have my skates,” Yuuri said.

“Then you're renting a pair,” Yuri replied as they walked inside. 

The place was completely empty. It had just opened and it was a weekday. It was for the best. 

Both skaters rented some skates and got on the ice. The skates hurt Yuri's feet and he missed his own. But they'd do for the time. 

Yuuri skated out awkwardly. They both skated around the rink a few times and then Yuri attempted a quadruple salchow. He landed it with ease. He turned his head back to his grandfather and saw him smiling. Yuri couldn't help but feel proud.

Yuuri did a triple axel and landed it without a problem. He seemed happy with that.

Yuri skated out of the rink and shouted, “Yuuri, do your routine.”

Yuuri stopped skating and moved over to the wall where Yuri and Nikolai were. “Okay. I just need my iPod.” All three of them went back to the car and watched Yuuri rifle through his bag. It took only a few moments for him to find his iPod and a small speaker. They went back inside as Yuuri set up his music. He locked the device and handed it to Yuri. He skated out to the center of the rink. 

Yuri turned the iPod on to look at the song. It was called “Yuuri on Ice”. 

“Whenever you're ready,” Yuuri said. He was already posed, one leg crossed behind the other, head bowed.

Yuri started the music. Yuuri raised his head, moving his hands up. He skated back, arms over his head. 

It didn't take Yuri long to get a sense of what the piece was meant to look like. It was supposed to be graceful. The moves were slow and elegant. There was another story here but this time, Yuri couldn't see it. There was something wrong.

The step sequence started and Yuri was eagerly awaiting the quad flip. Yuuri jumped but it was a combination instead. Yuri knew why he'd changed it but it was still a bit disappointing. He figured the other Yuuri would have perfected it by now. 

Yuuri finished in his final pose, breathing heavily. He collapsed from the pose and looked to Yuri and Nikolai.

“How was it?” He asked.

“Terrible,” Yuri said before Nikolai could say anything. He knew his grandfather would compliment the performance but Yuri knew what to look for. He knew what would actually help. “Your jumps were good. At least, as good as I expect out of you. Your technical score would be pretty high. But your presentation sucked.”

Yuuri blinked in obvious confusion.

“You look like you're pissed off the entire time. You're trying to tell a story but I have no idea what it is. You're too stiff. Isn't this supposed to be graceful?”

“Um, yes.” Yuuri grabbed at his arm, ashamed of the lecture he was getting. 

“Then make it graceful. You're thinking too hard.”

“Okay,” Yuuri said, getting some of his confidence back, “Can you play it again?” 

Yuuri ran through the program two more times. Yuri had the same complaints both times. The lack of the song was clearly affecting him but if he wanted to go to the GPF, he had to get over it.

After the third run through, Yuri went out on the ice. If he had to pay for the skate rental, he was going to practice too.

“Oi, katsudon, my turn,” he said.

Yuuri looked surprised but skated off the ice. 

Yuri posed in the middle of the rink and launched into the program. It was fast and even difficult but Yuri loved it. As he ran through it, he considered how he could beat J.J. At the point his routine was at, he couldn't do it. J.J. would have a higher technical score. He'd have to adjust the jump composition. He refused to lose to J.J. again.

Yuri posed and both Yuuri and Nikolai started applauding. 

“You did well, Yurochka,” Nikolai called.

“Yurio, that was amazing,” Yuuri said. 

Yuri couldn't help but smile. Of course it was amazing. He may have lost at the Onsen on Ice but he wasn't going to lose to Yuuri again. 

A family entered the rink, looking oddly at the three of them. A mother and her young child got on the ice. That was the end of their practice.

It was for the best as it was getting close to noon. Nikolai drove them back to the hotel. He found a parking spot and the three of them walked back to the hotel. 

Outside, Yuri hugged his grandfather goodbye.

“I'll be watching you skate,” Nikolai said, “Good luck, Yurochka.”

“Thanks,” Yuri said. He turned to where Yuuri was standing. 

“Thank you both so much,” Yuuri said, “You've both done so much for me and I can't express how much I appreciate it.”

Nikolai put a hand on Yuuri's shoulder. “You're welcome. Best of luck at your competition.”

Yuuri hugged Nikolai. Both he and Yuri were taken off guard. 

“Thank you so much,” Yuuri said.

“Hey, Yuuri, we have to go,” Yuri said, trying to end this awkward moment as quickly as possible. 

He let go then. “Thank you,” he said again and walked into the hotel.

Once he was inside, Nikolai started chuckling.

“What the hell was that?” Yuri asked.

“Don't worry yourself about it,” Nikolai said, “Anyone with a soulmate tends to be tactile.”

“You're not.”

“Not everyone is. Remember your grandmother? She used to hold you all the time. She was the only person who could get you to stop crying when you were a baby.”

“Grandpa!” Yuri couldn't forget his grandmother. He'd been very young when she died but he could remember being picked up by her and carried around. He'd loved it when he was young. 

Nikolai smiled. “You'd better be going too. Good luck, Yurochka.”

“Thanks Grandpa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the story. Please leave a kudos or comment. They always make my day. See you next Saturday for chapter 5.


	5. Chapter 5

_ Oh, ye of so little faith, don’t doubt it, don’t doubt it, _

_ Victory is in my veins, I know it, I know it, _

_ And I will not negotiate, I’ll fight it, I’ll fight it, _

_ I will transform. _

_ Rise, Katy Perry _

 

* * *

Yuuri had run into Yakov and Lilia after he'd left Yuri and his grandfather to say goodbye. Yakov hadn't been thrilled that they'd gone at all but he didn't take that fury out on Yuuri. He just instructed him to get ready and to call if he needed anything. 

Yuuri hurried back to his hotel room. The men's competition was starting in only a few hours.

Yuuri took a shower and put on his costume. He liked all the details, particularly the design on the back. He could remember Viktor telling him how much he liked this costume. It didn't exactly surprise him how much he missed Viktor. But it still bothered him a lot that his soulmate wasn't there. His head was so painfully empty without the song. Nikolai had been right, it was like someone has ripped him apart and Viktor had the pieces. 

Yuuri took a deep breath. He still had a competition. He was in second place. He could medal. He knew he could.

While his hair was still damp, he combed his bangs back. Then he applied generous amounts of hair gel and hairspray. It wouldn't last long; as soon as he started his performance it would begin to fall apart. 

Normally Viktor helped him out with this. He'd grown to like feeling his soulmate’s hands running through his hair. 

Everything always came back to Viktor. Yuuri really hoped Makkachin was okay. Viktor didn't need to go through that pain. 

Yuuri had a small tube of chapstick which he applied to his lips. He would bite them when he was nervous, so they always looked terrible. But now they looked shiny. He just wanted to show Viktor, to kiss him.

Yuuri just had to wait for the next day. He couldn't imagine never seeing his soulmate again. He couldn't imagine the pain Nikolai must have gone through when his soulmate died. Yuuri and Viktor were separated for two days and Yuuri never wanted to do this again. 

He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked tired but he felt tired. While he'd been able to sleep, he woke up several times during the night. He hoped Viktor had been able to sleep. 

Yuuri checked his phone but there were no messages. He and Viktor hadn't talked since he left the country.

This wasn't going to end soon enough. 

There was a knock at the door. Yuuri walked over and was not surprised to se see Yakov there.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready as I'll ever be.” He needed Viktor there. He needed the song back. But that wasn't going to happen. He was as ready as he could be.

Yuuri put on his jacket and walked out with Yakov. The coach was more preoccupied with his actual student than Yuuri and he didn't mind. He had to mentally prepare himself for this.

He knew the competition had started but he wasn't paying attention. Only when Seung-Gil walked past him crying did Yuuri take notice. And he started to become nervous. 

Yuri had said that his technical score would be high but his presentation was bad. It seemed ironic that the song or lack thereof would make him the opposite type of skater he usually was. He relied heavily on that presentation score. When he was nervous, his jumps were weaker. But knowing that he couldn't present well just made him more nervous!

Yuuri's phone vibrated. He grabbed it out of his pocket, hoping that Viktor had texted him. 

It wasn't Viktor but his sister. She’d sent him a picture message. Disappointed, Yuuri opened it.

He was expecting a good luck message and that  _ was _ what he got. But the picture was of Minako and Viktor, sitting in what looked like a waiting room, leaning over a laptop, oblivious to the picture being taken. They were both looking intently at the screen. His sister's message was beneath.  _ Good luck Yuuri! We'll be watching and rooting for you! _

Yuuri couldn't help but smile. His sister always knew how to cheer him up.  And just when he needed it.

His phone vibrated again. This time, his sister had sent a video. Yuuri didn't have headphones but he clicked play anyway.

The video started on the same scene as the picture, Minako and Viktor unaware of the camera.

“I'm taking a video to send to Yuuri,” Mari said behind the camera. Both Minako and Viktor looked up. “Say something.”

“Good luck, Yuuri,” Minako said with a smile, “You'll be great.”

Viktor stood up and walked over to Mari. The video focused on his face but he looked beyond the phone. “This is going to Yuuri?”

“Yup. Keep your message quick or it won’t send.”

“Yuuri,” he said. The video ended there. Yuuri could hear the song. Just a few notes beating quietly in his head and it was gone. He had no idea what to make of that.

“Yuuri.” Yuuri looked up and noticed Yakov standing there with Lilia and the other Yuri. “It’s time to go.”

“Right,” Yuuri replied. He hadn't even realized how much time had passed. He locked his phone and walked with them into the rink. 

Michele was still skating. Yuri was getting ready to go out. Yuuri was feeling nervous again. 

He took his phone out and sent a message back to his sister.  _ Thank you. It really helped. _

He put his phone back in his pocket and watched the end of Michele’s routine. He was good. His performance was emotional in a way Yuuri hadn’t seen him do before. He'd improved from the last Grand Prix Final. 

Michele's performance finished and he left the ice. Yuri skated on instead and Yakov went to talk to him. Yuuri was alone again.

“The score for Michele Crispino: 282.89. He is currently in first place.”

Yuuri's phone vibrated again. He took a look and saw another message from his sister. He opened it and saw another video. This one just showed Viktor. Yuuri pressed play.

Viktor was still standing in the waiting room area with Minako just visible behind him. He looked terrible. It had been hard to notice from the picture and first video but he had dark circles under his eyes. His hair was messed up and so were his clothes. He looked like he didn't care, and that was scary for Viktor Nikiforov. 

Viktor started speaking but the announcer was louder, “Next on the ice, representing Russia, Yuri Plisetsky!” The crowd went wild and the video finished without Yuuri hearing a word of it. 

In the few moments before Yuri’s music started, Yuuri played the video again.

Viktor looked into the camera seriously, not even a hint of a smile on his face. “Yuuri, don't doubt yourself. You can do this.” His expression softened. “I'll be expecting a medal when you get back to Japan. Best of luck, my love.” The video ended there.

Yuuri covered his mouth with his free hand. He almost felt like crying. He couldn't, unless he wanted to be crying on the ice. But this was what he needed. Viktor was learning him better. 

He sent a message back to his sister.  _ Thank you. You know just what I needed. _

Yuuri watched the video again. It was only a few seconds long but it made him feel calmer, even if he couldn't hear it anymore. Just watching Viktor helped. Yuuri loved him so much. 

He got a message back.  _ I'd be a bad big sister if I didn't know what helped you. Good luck. _ Yuuri smiled and locked his phone. There was nothing left now but to go on the ice.

Yuuri watched the rest of Yuri's performance. There were a lot more jumps than Yuuri remembered from earlier in the day, unless Yuri rearranged the jump composition. It was an amazing performance.

As Yuri got off the ice to go to the kiss and cry, Yuuri got on. He handed Yakov his jacket. He wasn't feeling as confident as he had for his short program but he felt better than he had several minutes before. 

Yakov was talking to him but Yuuri didn't hear it. Instead he heard, “The score for Yuri Plisetsky: 297.96, a personal best. He is currently in first place. He has won a ticket to the Grand Prix Final!” 

Yuri had earned it. But it made Yuuri feel more nervous.

“Are you listening to me?” Yakov asked. Yuuri’s attention snapped back to him. The coach looked angry with him.

“You truly are Vitya’s student,” he muttered. 

“Next on the ice, representing Japan, Yuuri Katsuki!” 

“Yes, I am,” Yuuri said quietly as he turned around and skated to the center of the rink. The crowd cheered loudly for him but he couldn't find it in him to smile. He was still a soulmate without the soulmate bond. A piece of him was missing and it was back in Japan. 

Yuuri got into position, ready to begin. He felt so nervous again, unsure of how he'd perform. He needed his presentation score to be good. He couldn't rely on his technical score to get on the podium. 

The music started and Yuuri began, focusing on his hands. He had to loosen up. He couldn't show his nervousness.

He was waiting for the drumming song to start in his head, to fight him or aid him. But his head was so quiet.

His first combination was successful. But he knew it would be. It was the jumps later in his program that gave him trouble. 

Yuuri knew that Yuri's criticisms were correct. He could feel the tension in his body and he knew he wasn't hiding it at all. He kept skating because there was nothing else he could do. He didn't want to let Viktor down but he was afraid he would. He jumped.

He fell. The announcer said there were enough rotations but he still felt disappointed. Yuuri knew this routine, he could skate it whether the song synced for him or not. But it was so much easier to have it steadily beat along to the pattern of the music. How had he done this before?

A triple loop. The landing was sloppy but he did it. He felt so alone. What was he supposed to do?

The slow part of the song began. For a few moments, he was just gliding on the ice. 

“Ganba!” Yuuri opened his eyes. That was the other Yuri’s voice. He could see the teenager’s blond hair but little else. 

That’s right. He wasn’t alone. There were others to help him. He went low to the ground, pulling his hands down his body. His sister sending him messages. Minako wishing him luck. Spread eagle into an Ina Bauer. Yuri taking him to the rink to practice. Nikolai sitting with him in the middle of the night. He could feel himself relaxing. 

The triple flip was good. Yuuri couldn’t help but smile now. He didn’t have his soulmate there but he wasn’t alone. He still had support from others. And of course, Viktor still supported him. He couldn’t hear the song in his head but he’d see his soulmate soon. And he’d have a medal to bring back with him!

The step sequence started but Yuuri was feeling confident. He knew he had the support he needed for this piece. After all, that was the story of “Yuuri on Ice”. Yuuri found out that he’d been supported all along. And now he had his soulmate by his side. 

His final combination was successful. He didn’t fall, didn’t break his stride. He just went into the final spins and posed. The audience cheered for him as he tried to catch his breath back. “Yuuri on Ice” was a hard program but it was worth it. And he was proud of himself. He’d done it. 

He got off the ice as J.J. went on. He and Yakov moved to the kiss and cry, waiting for his score. He didn’t know what to think. The beginning had been poor but he was a solid finish. Maybe he’d be lucky and take third.

“Hey.” Yuuri turned to look at Yakov. “You failed to take advantage of the program Vitya made for you. Why didn’t you practice for the possibility that you might flub a jump?” 

Yakov continued talking at him but Yuuri couldn’t help but smile a little. This was exactly what Viktor would do after he performed. Of course he’d learned it from Yakov. 

“The score for Yuuri Katsuki: 283.17. He is currently in second place.”

Yuuri’s breath caught in his throat. He was in second. He was on the podium for sure. 

“That’s a higher score than I expected,” Yakov remarked, “What’s wrong?”

Yuuri threw his arms around the coach. “Spasiba,” he said. He had more support than he realized. Sitting with Yakov in the kiss and cry helped to lessen the pain of missing Viktor.

* * *

While he was happy to be on the podium, it meant he had to stand through the awkwardness. J.J. won gold, as expected. Yuri was wearing silver and was glaring at him every time a camera wasn't flashing. Yuuri just put on a smile and tried to ignore it. These pictures were going to be terrible.

Eventually it was over. Yuuri got a chance to look at his phone and noticed several messages from his sister. 

_ Congratulations. We're so happy for you. _

_ Viktor went crazy when you finished your routine. He wouldn't stop talking about how amazing you are, even if he was the last person here to find that out.  _

Yuuri couldn't help but laugh. He could easily imagine that.

_ He also went crazy when you hugged his coach.  _

Yuuri smiled at the messages. Viktor was so ridiculous sometimes. But thinking of Viktor made him want a hug. They were the best with Viktor, because of the song. It felt so good to hold him.

He texted Mari back.  _ Thank you. Your support means so much to me. _

As he locked his phone and put it away, he noticed Sara and Michele walking over. 

“Yuuri,” Sara said excitedly, “Congratulations on getting in the Grand Prix Final.”

“Sara!” Michele said, as if scandalized by the fact that she'd talk to Yuuri.

Yuuri threw his arms around Sara and pulled her close. She was taken off guard, her body tense. “Thank you.”

Sara was nice to hug but something wasn't right. She was too guarded, her hands on Yuuri's shoulders, poised to push him away.

“Hey!” Yuuri looked at her brother. Michele looked pissed. “What do you think you're doing?”

_ Him next. _

Yuuri let go of Sara and hugged Michele instead. For a moment he was in shock. And then he screamed, flailing wildly. Then he went completely limp. He wasn't very nice to hug.

“I heard Mickey scream,” Emil said as he entered the scene.

_ Him next. _

Yuuri let go of Michele who was grabbed by his sister. He walked over to Emil and hugged him. Emil returned the hug, throwing his arms around Yuuri too. It was closer but not quite right.

“Oh? Is this a hugging competition?” 

Yuuri could see Seung Gil walking in over Emil's shoulder. 

_ Him next. _

He let go, which Emil didn't seem to mind too much. Seung Gil didn't even seem to see it coming. He was extremely tense when Yuuri hugged him. He didn't say anything but he didn't seem to like it. He froze so he wasn't trying to push him away. But it didn't make for a nice hug.

Yuuri could hear J.J.’s voice coming down the hall. 

_ Him next.  _

J.J. also went tense when Yuuri hugged him. Like Seung Gil, he didn't fight him. He just froze and said nothing.

“What the-”

Yuuri turned his head and saw Yuri, Yakov, and Lilia. Yuri looked surprised at the scene.

_ Him last. _

Yuuri let go of J.J., who was still shaken by the whole thing. He turned to face Yuri.

“Oh no.” Yuri said. As Yuuri took a step closer to him, Yuri took a step back. “No.”

Yuuri took off in a sprint towards him. Yuri turned tail and ran. “Noooooo! Stay away from me!” 

The chase didn't last very long. Yuuri proved himself to be faster as he leapt and hugged the younger skater. 

For a moment, Yuri froze, probably in shock that he'd been caught. 

Yuuri took that moment to whisper, “Spasiba,” to him. That seemed to snap Yuri out of it.

“Let go. Stop being a creep,” he said and struggled to get Yuuri's arms off. Yuuri just let go, not wanting to make him too angry. The younger skater kicked him in the stomach, sending Yuuri to the ground. Then he ran back towards his coaches. Some things just never seemed to change. 

Yuuri got back to his feet and stumbled away. Hugging everyone had been nice. But something was wrong. The feeling just wasn't right. He was missing something and he desperately wanted to find it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yuuri. Well, he'll see Viktor again soon.  
> Thank you for reading and thank you for leaving kudos and comments. Please continue to do so. See you next week for the conclusion of Starry Eyed. :)


	6. Chapter 6

_ You want me for myself.  _

_ Look at me like no one else. _

_ I am beautiful with you. _

_ Beautiful With You, Halestorm _

 

* * *

Yuri didn't know why Yuuri looked so melancholic. But he was looking at the traffic sadly, bundled up in a huge coat. 

Yuri got his attention in the usual way, by knocking him to the ground. “You're a weirdo, you know.”

“Yurio?”

“Still not my name,” he replied, “What was with all the hugging before? It was weird.” 

Yuuri didn't exactly look ashamed but definitely uncomfortable. “Uh. Well.”

“Does it have to do with the whole soulmate touchy-feely thing?”

“Uh. Yes. I think so.”

“‘Kay. I don't want to know then.” The two skaters lapsed into silence. Cars passed them by and Yuuri's sadness returned. He seemed pensive and lost in his own head. People with the song tended to space out but in that moment, he didn’t have it. So Yuri didn’t understand what was wrong. 

“So why the hell are you so upset?” Yuri demanded. The other Yuuri turned to him, confused. “You got bronze. You're in the Grand Prix Final. You're going back to Viktor. You have no right to be upset. I got a personal best and I still lost to  _ J.J _ .” It infuriated him as he spoke. He  _ hated _ that prick and he was in first going into the GPF. Yuri was so upset. 

“You're right,” Yuuri said, “I don't really have a right to be upset. I was just thinking about Viktor.” 

“Shouldn't that make you happy?” 

“I have some things to consider.”

“Whatever. Anyway,” Yuri took off his backpack and took out a bag. He threw it to Yuuri. “That's the leftover pirozhki. Grandpa wanted you to have them.” 

Yuuri smiled at him. “Please thank him for me. You both were so nice to me.”

“You're welcome,” Yuri grumbled, “Make sure Viktor is there at the GPF or you're gonna suck.”

Yuuri still smiled at him.  He was infuriatingly calm even when Yuri insulted him. Could Yuri even rile him up anymore?

“He'll be there. Thank you again. I'll see you in a few weeks.”

“Yeah. See ya,” Yuri said and walked away. He was pretty excited about his first Grand Prix Final in the senior division. He'd have to keep practicing. After all, he was going to win.

* * *

It was another bad night's sleep. Yuuri found a video of white noise and listened to that but he woke up with his phone completely dead. He was up on and off all night so he was tired when he woke up. 

Of course, it wasn’t just the lack of the song keeping him awake. Some was worry about the Grand Prix Final. Now that he’d officially made it, the pressure was on. But he didn’t want to think about that too much.

Mostly, he was thinking about Viktor. He missed him so much and being alone was driving him crazy. He just wanted Viktor in the bed next to him. 

Yuuri wondered if he was ready to take their relationship further. They’d been moving pretty slowly for being soulmates. And Yuuri did love Viktor. He wanted to be with him and he wanted to make him happy. He wanted to go further with him. 

Those thoughts took up a large portion of the night. Yuuri was so focused on it, he didn’t realize his phone wasn’t plugged in until it was already dead. 

Without his phone, he couldn't contact Viktor but he was sticking with his original flight back. Viktor knew when that was. Yuuri hoped he would come to pick him up. 

Yuri was already gone as Yuuri headed to the airport. Everyone else seemed to want to avoid him, except Emil. He was the only person who enjoyed the hug. So Yuuri had no goodbyes to say. He saw Michele and Sara as he was leaving but Michele pulled her away. He was very protective of his sister.

Yuuri got a taxi and headed to Sheremetyevo. He was going home.

* * *

Halfway through the flight, the song came back into Yuuri’s head.

* * *

It was difficult to not feel excited. Viktor’s joy was coming through the bond loud and clear. The mental bombardment of emotions reminded Yuuri a little of Vic-chan after he came back from a competition. The dog would jump on him, barking madly, refusing to sit still and demanding to be petted at the same time. Viktor’s excitement was on a similar level. He hoped Makkachin was okay. But he figured he was. Viktor wouldn't be this excited if something happened to Makkachin. 

Waiting to be let off the plane felt like cruel torture. Viktor was so close. He just wanted to be back with his soulmate again.

Finally, they started to disembark. Yuuri got to the front of the line as soon as possible. He knew it was rude but in that moment, he didn't care. 

He walked out, parallel to a waiting room. His eyes scanned it, looking for familiar silver hair. But what he noticed first was a brown poodle walking up to the glass and putting his paws on it. His owner wasn't too far away.

Once Viktor noticed Yuuri, he started running for the door. Yuuri followed suit, keeping his eyes on Viktor the entire time. The song was so loud. 

The automatic door couldn't open quick enough. Yuuri was trapped on the wrong side, waiting, waiting, waiting. 

They opened. 

Yuuri all but jumped into Viktor's arms. 

It felt right. It was like all those pieces Yuuri was missing had come back into place. This was what was missing when he was hugging all the skaters. 

When they kissed, it was the most amazing feeling, as if Yuuri had been starving without him. The song was ecstatic, beating loudly and wildly, as if it couldn't contain its joy either. 

“I missed you,” Yuuri said.

“I missed you too,” Viktor replied, “The last two days were hard for me.”

“Me too.” Yuuri felt like crying. This was everything he had missed in the past two days. 

“Excuse me.” Yuuri and Viktor turned to look at a security guard. “Can you please move so you're not blocking the door?”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said and they moved to sit on the waiting room chairs. Makkachin happily followed behind them. Yuuri gave him a quick pat on the head before going through his suitcase. He pulled out his medal and presented it to Viktor.

“I got on the podium and I'm in the Grand Prix Final. I couldn't have done it without you, Viktor.” 

Viktor looked at him oddly for a few moments and then threw his arms around him again. 

“But Yuuri, you did do it without me. You performed without me and the song and you still medaled. As your coach, I'm proud of you.” He leaned in closer, until his lips were right next to Yuuri's ear. “As your soulmate, I would love to  _ reward _ you for your victory.”

Yuuri was sure he was blushing red. His face felt hot and the song sped up in happiness. 

Viktor laughed a little; clearly Yuuri's embarrassment was flooding into him. “I'm sorry, my love. There are-”

“No. I want it.”

Viktor stopped talking and looked at him blankly for a moment. Then he asked, “What was that?”

Yuuri had been thinking about this since the end of the Rostelecom Cup. He had missed Viktor so much and he wanted to show him. He wanted to prove how much he cared for him. 

“I missed you so much, Viktor. And I want to be with you tonight,” he said quietly.

“Are you sure? You don't have to if you're not ready.”

“No, I'm ready. When you come to my room tonight, I'll say yes.” 

“Then I look forward to tonight,” Viktor said, and he leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

It was late at night. Yuuri's family had already gone to bed. When he'd come home, they had prepared a little celebration for his victory. Yuuri spent a good portion of the night thanking Mari again, even if she didn't see it as such a big deal. It was to him and he wanted her to know that. 

The rest of the night was spent in Viktor's arms. His soulmate barely let go of him the entire night, clearly excited for what was to come. 

His family eventually let Yuuri go, as he told them he felt tired from the return trip. Yuuri had honestly expected Viktor shortly after but he hadn't come yet.

Yuuri knew Viktor had to feel it. He was so nervous, Viktor had to feel it too. He couldn't keep it to himself. 

He was excited and he wanted this. But this was going to be his first time and he was unsure of what to expect. He completely trusted Viktor but it didn't help settle his nerves. 

Despite his raging emotions, the song was slow and steady. Perhaps Viktor was telling him to calm down. But he could do it in person. Where was he?

Yuuri walked out of his room. He'd wanted this and while he still had his nerve, he was going to find Viktor instead.

He walked down the hall and knocked on Viktor's door. 

He felt nervous but he tried to calm himself down. He had successfully seduced Viktor many times. Viktor loved his Eros. He just had to turn on the charm.

“Viktor,” he said, channeling as much Eros as he could, “Open the door for me?”

There was no reply. The song didn't change at all. It was still steady.

Yuuri mentally thanked Yuri. It was time to use what he'd been taught. “Vitya, let me in.” 

Nothing. There was no sound of footsteps, no noise from Viktor, nothing. 

“Vitya, don't you want me here?” 

Still nothing. Yuuri was starting to grow concerned. He then heard footsteps walking towards the door. But the song got no louder. 

“Makkachin?” The Eros left his voice. He was getting worried.

The dog whined on the other side of the door. 

Yuuri didn't hesitate as he opened the door. “Viktor?” 

The sight inside made him laugh. Viktor was on his bed, dead asleep. He hadn't even changed out of his clothes. Well, it explained the steady, quiet beat of the song. Yuuri probably should have realized earlier. 

He walked over and sat down on the bed. Viktor still had the ugly dark circles under his eyes. Yuuri obviously wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping. Except he had Nikolai to help him. Viktor probably barely slept in those two days. No wonder he was so exhausted. 

Yuuri wanted to get him into something more comfortable but he didn't want to wake him either.  Although Viktor was asleep on top of the covers, he was off to one side and left the rest of the bed open. Yuuri managed to pull the blankets over him. 

He looked much more comfortable. He was smiling in his sleep. Yuuri couldn't help himself as he brushed Viktor's bangs aside. He was so beautiful, even with messy hair and dark circles. 

Yuuri gently kissed his forehead. Viktor didn't stir. He must have been so tired.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered in Japanese. It wasn't like Viktor could hear anyway. And Yuuri didn't know if he was ready to say it while Viktor was conscious. But after being away from him and losing the song, Yuuri knew for sure. He loved Viktor. 

Yuuri got up and turned off all the lights. Makkachin followed behind him. 

“Go back to Viktor,” Yuuri said.

Makkachin sneezed and looked at Yuuri sadly. 

“He'd miss you if he woke up alone,” Yuuri said, “Go on.” 

Makkachin turned around and walked over to the bed. He hopped up and lay down next to Viktor. It was a beautiful sight.

He wasn't going to be lonely, that was for sure. Yuuri took one last look at the scene before closing the door. 

Viktor looked content as he slept. But Yuuri knew he was not gonna be happy when he woke up. Falling asleep when his soulmate promised him sex would make him feel upset, probably to the point that the bond would wake Yuuri up too. But it didn’t matter. That was one alarm clock Yuuri didn't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading Starry Eyed. I do have a sequel planned but it's not written yet and I don't know when it will be. However, I do have another YOI fic coming out soon so please look forward to that. Please leave your final kudos and comments if you enjoyed the story. Thank you. :)


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